Wedding Gift Etiquette: How Much to Spend, What to Buy, and When to Send

Weddings are a time of celebration, and when you're invited to one, the next question is often, “What should I get the happy couple?” Wedding gift etiquette can be a little tricky—especially when it comes to understanding how much to spend, what to buy, and when to send the gift. Whether you're attending a lavish ceremony or a more intimate gathering, this guide will help you navigate the world of wedding gift-giving with confidence and grace.

How Much to Spend on a Wedding Gift

One of the most common questions guests ask is, "How much should I spend on a wedding gift?" There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but there are some guidelines that can help.

1. Consider Your Relationship with the Couple
Your relationship with the couple should play a significant role in how much you spend. For example, close friends or family members might want to spend more, while colleagues or acquaintances might feel comfortable with a lower-priced gift.

• Close Family or Best Friends: Typically, $100 - $150 is a good starting point, but you can go higher depending on your budget and how much you want to contribute to the couple's big day.

• Extended Family or Friends: If you’re invited to a distant relative’s wedding or a colleague’s event, spending between $50 - $100 is considered perfectly acceptable.

• Casual Acquaintances or Group Gifts: If you’re part of a group gift, $20 - $50 can be an ideal range.

2. Keep in Mind Your Budget
While it’s always thoughtful to buy a meaningful gift, it's important to stick to a budget that feels comfortable for you. Remember, it's the thought that counts!

3. Regional Differences
Wedding gift expectations can vary by region. For example, in some areas, it may be common to give more expensive gifts, while in others, modest or even homemade gifts are the norm. Be sure to check local customs or ask someone close to the couple for advice.

What to Buy: Wedding Gift Ideas

When it comes to wedding gifts, the options can feel overwhelming. However, focusing on the couple’s tastes and needs will make your decision much easier. Below are a few popular and timeless wedding gift ideas:

1. Cash or Gift Cards
Cash gifts have become increasingly popular in recent years. Many couples appreciate receiving cash as it allows them to spend it on what they need most—whether it’s for a honeymoon, a down payment on a house, or furnishing their new home. If you’re not sure how much to give, aim for an amount that matches the price of the gift you would have bought.

2. Registry Gifts
Most couples create a wedding registry at their favorite stores, making it easy for guests to choose gifts that the couple truly wants or needs. Whether it’s fine china, kitchen gadgets, or home decor, buying something from the registry ensures your gift will be appreciated and used.

3. Personalized Gifts
Personalized wedding gifts, such as monogrammed towels, engraved picture frames, or custom artwork, add a unique and thoughtful touch. These gifts are perfect for couples who enjoy sentimental and bespoke items.

4. Experience Gifts
If the couple already has everything they need, consider giving them the gift of an experience, such as a cooking class, spa day, or a wine tasting. These gifts allow the couple to create new memories together.

5. Home Essentials
For couples who are just starting out, home essentials like kitchenware, bedding, or appliances are often practical gifts that they’ll appreciate for years to come. Think about items that will make their daily life easier and more enjoyable.

When to Send a Wedding Gift

Timing is crucial when it comes to wedding gifts. Here's a general timeline for when you should send your gift:

1. Send the Gift Before the Wedding
Ideally, gifts should be sent before the wedding. Many couples prefer to receive gifts ahead of time so they can enjoy opening them in the weeks leading up to the big day. If you're sending your gift through the mail, aim to send it 3-4 weeks before the wedding.

2. If You Attend the Wedding, Bring Your Gift
If you're attending the wedding in person, it’s perfectly fine to bring your gift with you. Just be sure to check if there’s a specific gift drop-off area, as some couples may have a designated spot for gifts to be left during the reception.

3. After the Wedding—No Later Than a Month
If you missed the wedding or just couldn’t make up your mind about the perfect gift, it’s still thoughtful to send a gift after the event. However, try to do so within a month or two after the wedding. Sending a late gift shows you still care, but it also shows the couple that you put thought into their special day, even if you couldn’t be there in person.

Etiquette to Keep in Mind

1. Send a Thank-You Note
A thank-you note is always appreciated, and it’s a courteous way to acknowledge the couple’s wedding invitation and their special day. It’s also a great chance to let them know how much you enjoyed their celebration.

2. Group Gifts
If you’re contributing to a group gift, be sure to coordinate with the others to make sure you’re all on the same page. Some couples prefer to receive a few larger gifts instead of many smaller ones, so always check the gift registry to avoid overlap.

3. Don’t Feel Obligated to Match the Couple’s Spend
While it’s tempting to match what the couple spends on you (if you’ve already received a gift from them in the past), it’s not necessary. Wedding gift-giving should always come from the heart and reflect your relationship with the couple.

4. Consider Cultural Differences
Wedding customs can vary based on culture, so take time to understand any specific etiquette the couple may have in mind. For example, in some cultures, guests may give gold or luxury items, while others might value something handmade.

Wrapping Up: Making the Right Choice

Wedding gifts are a way to show your love and support for the couple as they begin their new journey together. Whether you choose to give a cash gift, something from their registry, or a more personalized item, what matters most is that your gift comes from the heart. By keeping these wedding gift etiquette tips in mind, you’ll be able to select the perfect gift and send it at just the right time.