Writing Your Own Wedding Vows? Here’s Exactly What to Say

Writing your own wedding vows can be one of the most meaningful parts of your ceremony. It’s your chance to speak from the heart, share your promises, and tell your unique love story. But for many couples, knowing where to start is the hardest part.

In this guide, we’ll walk you through how to write modern wedding vows—complete with structure tips, real vow examples, and answers to the most common questions. Whether you're planning a traditional ceremony with a personal twist or a fully custom wedding script, we’ve got you covered.

Why Write Your Own Wedding Vows?

1. Personalization
Modern couples are moving away from cookie-cutter ceremonies. Writing your own vows gives you a chance to reflect your personality, values, and relationship journey.

2. Emotional Connection
Handwritten vows often feel more authentic and touching. Guests—and your partner—will feel the love.

3. A Lasting Keepsake
Your vows become a memory you’ll treasure for years. Some couples even frame or include them in their wedding album.

How to Write Modern Wedding Vows

1. Start Early

Give yourself time to think, write, edit, and practice. Starting at least a month before the big day helps avoid last-minute stress.

2. Reflect on Your Relationship

Ask yourself:

• What do I love most about my partner?

• When did I know they were "the one"?

• What have we been through together?

• What do I promise for our future?

3. Decide on Tone and Length

Modern wedding vows range from heartfelt and romantic to witty and lighthearted. Choose what feels true to you—but aim for 1–2 minutes max.

4. Include the Essentials

Modern doesn’t mean unstructured. A good vow typically includes:

• A short story or memory

• Qualities you admire in your partner

• Clear promises or commitments

• A closing line that feels meaningful

Modern Wedding Vow Examples

Here are a few examples to inspire your own writing:

Romantic & Heartfelt

"From the moment I met you, I knew my life would never be the same. You are my best friend, my calm in the storm, and the one who makes me laugh every day. I vow to listen with patience, speak with honesty, and love you without condition for all my days."

Playful & Sweet

"I promise to always share the last slice of pizza, to laugh at your dad jokes—even the bad ones—and to love you more every day. You’re my favorite person, and I can’t wait to keep choosing you, forever."

Poetic & Modern

"You are the rhythm to my quiet, the spark to my spirit, and the peace to my chaos. I vow to stand beside you, to grow with you, and to write the next chapters of our lives as a team."

Common Questions About Writing Wedding Vows

Can we share our vows privately?

Absolutely. Many couples choose to exchange personal vows during a “first look” or post-ceremony moment, keeping the public version short and sweet.

Should our vows match in tone or length?

It’s a good idea to discuss tone and length with your partner in advance, so one vow doesn’t feel too short or too long compared to the other.

Do we still need to say “I do”?

Yes—most officiants will guide you through the traditional “I do” responses in addition to your personalized vows.

Final Tips for Writing Your Own Vows

• Write it down. Don't wing it—emotions run high on the big day.

• Practice out loud. Read your vows a few times to hear the rhythm and make edits.

• Print or write on a vow card. It looks better than reading off your phone and makes a beautiful keepsake.

• Speak from the heart. Don’t worry about being perfect—just be genuine.

Make Your Vows Unforgettable

Writing your own wedding vows is a powerful way to personalize your ceremony and honor your love story. With a little thought and preparation, you can create a moment that brings laughter, happy tears, and lasting memories.